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Lessons From Desert Man
The Small Church #14
Fellowship: The Lost Discipline (Part 2)
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In 1979, a study by Flavil Yeakley suggested that
people were likely to drop out of church life, if
they did not develop at least two new friends within
the first six months of membership. The need for companionship
is a need which should be filled by the church. If
the church does not actively encourage the practice
of fellowship as a discipline of the Christian life,
then this need will be filled accidentally, if at
all.
Some churches fill the need for fellowship by grouping
people in homogeneous meetings. Naturally, they will
get along fairly well, if they are similar to one
another in age, background, and interests. Other churches
reach out to specific classifications of society as
target groups for growth, and thereby make it easy
for friendships to develop. These methods have strengths,
and weaknesses. In order to understand how the Church
of God (not a denominational title) may better practice
this discipline, it is important to define the basis
for true fellowship.
FALSE BASES FOR FELLOWSHIP
Fellowship is not based on common interests. The unsaved
like to be with those who enjoy the same things they
do. If this is the normative expression for the development
of friendships in the kingdom of God, perhaps we need
to ask ourselves, why more redemptive qualities have
not been created in our patterns of gathering. Do
we love those who love the things we do, or do we
love even those people who care less about some of
our concerns?
Fellowship is not based upon similar backgrounds.
People who have been through the things we have been
through, often make for great companions in our walk
toward growth in Christ. Yet, they may also become
stumbling blocks. Their weaknesses are our weaknesses
as well. Twelve-step programs are based upon this
principle, but the Kingdom of God is more than a twelve-step
program.
Fellowship is not based upon similar age. This is
the most common breakdown for friendship development
in America today. We gather around those, who are
in our same age bracket. But, the Kingdom of God is
supposed to be a family. A family is not comprised
of people of the same age. It is an intergenerational
unit, and most of its strengths are based upon that
fact. This is also true for the church. Many of its
strengths are based upon the encouragement, teaching,
and support passed between the generations. If fellowship
is based on age brackets, it is weak in wisdom toward
the younger generations, and low on morale in the
older generations.
Fellowship is not based on getting together only.
If getting together as believers was the sole prerequisite
for accomplishing true fellowship, then there would
be little difference between the church, and a bar
like "Cheers." There must be a deeper quality of life,
other than just "being there," which makes fellowship
powerful.
THE TRUE BASIS FOR FELLOWSHIP
Fellowship is based upon one common experience. That
experience is meeting Jesus Christ, the eternal God,
and Savior of mankind. In 1 John 1:3 we read, "that
which we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also,
that you may have fellowship with us; and indeed our
fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus
Christ." This experience alone is the commonality
upon which our fellowship should be based. If we place
prerequisites upon people, which the word of God does
not require, we become guilty of prejudice, and therefore
are not practicing true fellowship. Do we choose our
friends on the basis of interests, because they are
comfortable to endure, or because of convenience?
If so, we may be guilty of a prejudice , which has
nothing to do with skin color, social distinction,
or religious preference.
PRACTICING TRUE FELLOWSHIP
Once fellowship with God has been established, it
is then possible to practice true fellowship with
others who also know God. Just as a transference of
life, from God to ourselves, made fellowship with
God possible; so also, it is the transference of this
life of Christ, from one believer to another, which
makes fellowship among ourselves happen. Getting together
is not enough, our sharing together in the life of
Christ, releases the kind of fellowship which is powerful
and life-changing.
This fundamental understanding of fellowship is just
one more evidence that the church must learn to encourage,
teach, and model fellowship which breaks the generational,
social, political, racial, and interest barriers and
thereby reach into every category of society with
the Gospel. Saints who learn to relate to people,
who are different than themselves, are saints who
become witnesses to the world.
This same church will also become the church which
will, "restore the hearts of the fathers to their
children, and the hearts of the children to their
fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse."
(Malachi 4:6)
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