Ben doesn't like going to church. It's boring. It's insignificant compared to other things he could be doing Sunday mornings: like sleeping, or surfing.

It wasn't always like this. It used to be that he enjoyed going to youth group to hang out with his friends. But now, it seems that Ben and his friends don't go to church too often. You see, they're out of high school, and going to college, or joining the workforce.

In some churches this is a common dilemma. There are dozens of Bens, who don't make the transition from youth group to the adult church service. Parents are agonizing over the lost spirituality of their children, and crying out to God for their return.

What went wrong? Is it the fault of the church, or are the parents the primary target for blame? Is there something in the heart of this generation, or are the incredible societal changes over the last thirty years the reason for this loss?

A complex problem is not solved with a band-aid. But, there are some principles of raising children, and some patterns of church life which will help us raise godly children, who become godly adults.

#1 RAISING GODLY ADULTS BEGINS AT BIRTH

If the church, and individual parents desire to see their children grow up to be powerful forces against the kingdom of darkness, the time for training is from infancy. My ten year old has been a part of our church experience since he was less than a week old. Today, he likes the sermon as much as the Sunday School classes, and enjoys street preaching.

Years ago, a tough old missionary from Mexico told me that using "family time" as an excuse for missing church was a strange American weakness. As he put it, "Family time is mom, dad, and all the kids sitting together in the front pew." Today, he is with the Lord, but all his kids are serving Jesus as missionaries, or pastors.

#2 RAISING GODLY KIDS IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE PARENTS

Too often parents are looking for the church to take the parental role, and raise their children in spiritual matters. But, parents should be the pastors of their own children, and need to teach them the truths of God's kingdom.

When the church takes on the role of primary spiritual care-giver, it will often fall short. You see, church leaders spend precious few hours per week with the children you and I live with. Therefore, it is advantageous for us to heed the command of Deuteronomy 6:7, and teach our children diligently when we are sitting down, walking, lying down, or rising up. Wow! that's a lot of teaching. In fact, that's a lifestyle of teaching.

#3 RAISING GODLY KIDS IS A MATTER OF MODELING

Our children need to see us walk with God. They need to see us pray, read the Bible, witness, and worship. They also need to participate with us in these things.

The church which realizes this truth, will allow opportunities for the children of the congregation to see their parents worshiping God. Many churches are keeping the children and the youth in the service, through the worship portion of the Sunday gathering. This gives the children an opportunity to see their parents praise God. If the kids see their parents lifting their hands to the Lord, and singing praises to the One Who saved them, the children will do the same. We've seen it in action - it works!

Mission trips can be planned to take children and youth along. Each year, we go to Utah to preach the Gospel to the Mormon people. Some of our Church on the Coast kids come along. It is one of their favorite times of the year. They will understand that Christianity can be an adventure, because it has been modeled to them.

Any church, large or small, can practice these principles. In fact, the small church often does these things instinctively, as a matter of survival. You see, it doesn't take more workers to make these principles happen. It merely requires a change of focus, and a little higher expectation of the parents in the pews.

Although, it is the condition of the heart which ultimately decides ones' faithfulness to God, parents and churches can begin to establish patterns designed for long-term fruitfulness based around these simple principles. I am convinced that these principles will provide the optimum environment for transitioning our children into godly adults.

Of course, this is a bit theoretical, but I will welcome your call in ten years. You can ask if my then-to-be twenty year old son is still serving God.