Somewhere between the crowd and wilderness, there is a place we all visit. It is a place we fear, and love at the same time. It can be a friend or an enemy, a comfort or a deep ache. Like an alternate universe in a sci-fi movie, we might stumble into this place at the most surprising times. We call this place "solitude."

Solitude becomes our friend when it is treated as a discipline of life. It becomes a retreat to the soul, amidst the white noise of life. Yet, when solitude is feared, or unwittingly worshipped it becomes a trap to our souls. It becomes the clamp-like jaws we call isolation.

Isolation in leadership has been described as, "the lonely whine of the top dog." From the small churches dotting the American landscape, can be heard the wail of leaders who have taken the bait, and have been ensnared. If you listen closely enough, you can hear it. It may be closer to home than you think. If you put your ear to the breast of your church, its leadership, or even yourself you may find the fast pounding heartbeat of a trapped leader.

Let's walk through the indicators of isolation, and listen to our own hearts for the signs of the isolation trap:

"No one understands." - Yes, it is true that there are few seminars which speak to the unique difficulties of the small church. Yes, it is true that there are few books which deal with the issues of congregations under 100 members. Yes, it is true that most church growth gurus speak to those already relatively successful. Yes, yes, yes, it does seem that no one understands. But, it is an illusion created by the success mentality of our society.

Most ministers have felt the sting of apparent fruitlessness. Many people around us are in the throes of it even now . People do understand. They do know what to say. They can help. They can pray.

As long as we feel that no one understands, we will remain isolated from the help we so desperately need. If your heartbeat says, "No one understands," then you may be quietly wailing in one of the isolation traps.

Remnant Theology - Our pet problems become our pet theologies. Too often, we justify our weaknesses, and our frailties with a twist of theological ingenuity. Remnant theology is the patron doctrine of the isolated pastor.

Remnant theology teaches, that in any generation, there is always a small remnant of God's people, in the midst of ungodliness. It would be wrong to completely dismiss this teaching, but it would be just as wrong to apply this doctrine to every community, and every situation. Have you applied this doctrine to your personal dilemma? Have you concluded that your church is small because there are so few people who really love God?

Elijah did it. "I alone am left," was his lament. Yet there were 7,000 who had not "bowed to Baal." (1 Kings 19:10-18) His depression increased by means of his own false belief.

Moses did it. Seeing only "rebels," and not being mindful of the faithful in the ranks of Israel (no matter how few they may have been), he struck the rock in anger, and missed his date with the promised land. (Num.20:10-12)

Have you done it? Have your failures, or your feelings of insignificance driven your theology? Have you concluded that the reason for your smallness is a lack of God fearing people? In some situations it is true. In most it is not. Our anger, or our depression cannot be justified by scripture. It can only be surrendered to the Lord.

Shame on me - The annual Pastor's Conference may kill as many pastors as it heals. The first question many pastors ask one another upon introduction is, "How large is your church?" Can you feel the knife plunge deep into the heart of that shepherd of a few lonely sheep, as he fights back the already painful sense of shame in his apparent failure?

In my own denomination, I have attended National conferences in which I did not hear that question asked even once in the entire week! (Okay, it was just one, maybe two conferences.) During the course of the week, I heard pastors of churches in every size category, remark how refreshing it was that numbers had become so insignificant.

On the negative side of this same issue, I have seen pastors who refused to attend leaders conferences because, "All they are concerned about is numbers."

Don't allow your feelings of failure to separate you from the fellowship of other leaders. Otherwise, it will close upon you like the jaws of a bear trap upon a careless step. Your own shame will make you lame.

Listen carefully, and you can hear the distant wail of lonely leaders. Like the lone coyote in the darkness of the early morning, the cry may even rise from your own heart. It is perhaps, the cry for deliverance from the trap of isolation.