"But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men." (John 2:24)

There are three things which I would consider to be the primary benefits of discipleship:

1. Access to information,
2. Receiving the delegation of authority,
3. The shared responsibilities, and rewards for success.

When I am sharing my life with an individual, and seeking to make them better people, and better leaders, these are the things I pass on to them.

Discipleship is a large undertaking. At least, true discipleship is. It involves passing my knowledge, my dreams, my vision, my hopes, my fears, my work, even my life on to other people. It doesn't happen from a pulpit. There is only a limited amount of discipling which can happen from the pulpit. The rest of it happens in relationship. So, if I am going to invest my life in another, I want to be sure that I have made a wise investment.

I have learned through the school of hard knocks, that there is a basic principle of discipleship, which I should never break. Every time I have, it has cost me dearly. People have become thorns in my side, and others have betrayed me in the times I have neglected to keep this principle in sight.

The principle is this: Give to the degree in which a person has given to you. If a person is holding an area of their life back from you, they are only limitedly eligible for discipling. This holding back is a lack of surrender, and potentially a sign of rebellion, or stubbornness.

Remember, this is a principle of discipleship. It does not apply to helping people in need - here we are asked to go the second mile. It does not apply to evangelism - we know that "God is not willing that any should perish." This does not apply to all church workers, and perhaps not to every leader in the church. This applies to the passing on of deeper truths, and the sharing of ministry - even the passing on of my own life. Jesus ministered to a nation, but discipled only a few. So it is with us.

I want to be sure, that the quality time I invest in the development of truly significant leaders, is time well spent. I look for open, honest, and available people with whom to share my life. The acronym F-A-T is as applicable to discipling, as it is to leadership positions. (After all, a disciple is a growing leader.) Faithful - Available - Trainable people are the only real disciples. Jesus' requirement of His disciples was so great that he asked them to drop everything, and follow Him. So, I look for people who hold nothing back.

There are many ways in which a person may keep things from us in the process of discipleship. Below are a few which I have experienced:

A person may keep their time from us. I invest my time in personal relationship through discipling. Yet, there are some who seem unavailable for times in which I need them, or times I have set aside to involve them in the work of the ministry. If they cannot give of their time, they simply may not be eligible for personal discipling.

People may keep their work from us. If the sweat of the brow, and the willingness to work in the business of ministering to people does not accompany the process of discipleship, there is no need to go any further with an individual.

Potential disciples may keep their money from us. It is not that we look for them to share their finances with us. That might well be evidence, that our ministry is self-motivated. What we look for is people who spend their money on the Kingdom of God. People spend their lives earning their money, if they do not spend that money on kingdom things, then they are keeping a major portion of their lives from the Lord. This is certainly, a recipe for fruitlessness. Note: Tithing is just the beginning of investing our finances in Kingdom business.

An individual may keep their weaknesses from us. Secret sins must come to light in the process of discipleship. Openness, and honesty become the way to healing. When an individual stops short here, there is no hope for significant growth, and aggressive discipleship becomes futile.

A person may keep their desires from us. The people we seek to disciple have personal dreams, and goals for their lives, and their ministries. When they do not share these dreams with us, it may well be because they have agendas, which they know we would find unhealthy. It may even be that these dreams include the seeds of betrayal.

A person may keep their doctrine from us. It may not even be that they have heretical teachings C to which they hold firmly. It may be that there are simple, apparently small issues which they refuse to consider, which turn out to be cornerstones of the vision of the local church. For example: One person I worked with, understood ministry as being something which rotated almost completely around the preaching of the word, prayer, and worship. This person did not see that fellowship, and personal relationships were as vital as these other disciplines. Thus, the individual became unworkable in our church, which is based upon home cell groups, which meet during the week.

Whenever I have given my life, and a person has held back their own, I have found that it has become as Jesus called it, "casting my pearls before swine." Some of the people I have committed this error with, have mistaken lessons of ministry assigns of my imbalance. Others have turned on me after much personal investment. With the pearls I have invested in them, they have done as Jesus said they would do, "trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." (Matthew 7:6)

Remember this principle: Give to the degree in which a person has given to you. It will keep you safe from unnecessary pain. It will keep you from investing time in people, who will only end up discouraging you.

The small church pastor (well, actually every pastor) should be spending time developing leaders through personal discipleship. This little rule will help keep that time productive.