Ten Reasons People Should Go to Church #10 - Because God answered your prayer about the Red Sox after eight decades! #9 - Because putting some change in the offering plate will help drive away the guilt you feel from watching that T.V. evangelist ask for money. #8 - Because someone has to teach your children those moral lessons you never learned. #7 - Because the preacher's sermon has been rumored to be the next miracle cure for insomnia. #6 - Because a little extra guilt will give you a reason to keep going to your psychiatrist. #5 - Because someone else will watch your kids for free for a couple hours. #4 - Because a morning service is good practice for getting to work on time each Monday morning #3 - Because you haven't enjoyed poorly performed music from another century in quite a while. #2 - Because you need to be able to tell your mom you go to church when she asks next Christmas. and the #1 Reason is Those friends you were going to meet for a party in Hell, can't take their stash with them when they die.